Friday, April 24, 2009

like a snowball...

the pain in my hands gets worse and worse as the days go on. I have to wait over 2 more weeks to even talk to the doctor again, and I am upset about that. Typing hurts....playing the piano hurts.....writing with a pencil. I had a hard time opening my toothpaste tube, shampooing my head, and blow drying my hair felt like an epic feat.

I am frustrated that they are making me wait again....he is hoping to see if the procedure works....the procedure that is supposed to work in 2-4 weeks...no wait 4-6 weeks...or if not 6-8 weeks. I love how this all is so flimsily accurate.....and then it never helps at all. I have had no relief to this date....and been worse all over.

The all over pain is getting progressively more from day to day. It used to just be on maybe Sunday, my scheduled bad day, but now its Tuesday, and Friday too. The past 5 days, in the evenings my whole body has hurt. Too much, and not what I had planned. Going through the horror of the procedure was supposed to have helped me.....not sent me on a flying spiral into extended pain. God if it were still only my head.....not that I can even take that. But now......now it is engulfing.

I do not care about a name or a diagnosis, or whatever......I just need help...just need some better days. It is turning into maybe 2 1/2 good days a week. This is not how I am....it is not! So the snowball runs down the hill, gathering more of the wet snow, in layer after layer. And all the time I get smaller and smaller inside the center.....frozen, and still.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.